An Unfulfilled Promise

There are some people who cross your path, stay with you for a while and suddenly leave, but with some undying memories. So when that happens, and someday when you remember those people and recall the times spent with them, you automatically have a smile on your face and other times, their memories make you cry, you feel a void inside that will always remain. You suddenly wish that person to come back again and give him / her hug, no matter if it is once and for all. But alas!!! a wish at times just remains a wish and you cannot bring those moments to reality , no matter how hard you try ………………..
Whenever I think of May, it reminds me of a very sweet person, who touched my life for a brief period of time, loved me a lot and showered all her blessings on me. She used to work in her house. Her name was Bilkis. A lady who was a cleanliness freak, used to love our house like her own and me as her daughter.

A person who always had a smiling face , even when she was suffering all the physical abuses that her husband inflicted on her and was facing the worst financial crisis in her life . I remember, one day she came to our house a bit limping, but with her ever smiling face and when asked, she told about her husband and the way he used to beat her and ill treat her. No matter whatever happened at her house, she never left her job and turned up regularly. Many a times, due to the beatings, she used to leave her house without having her food. She used to cry and tell her stories and those times I had an impulse to take her away from all her sufferings, no matter what it takes.

She had got married at a tender age of 14, to a liquor addict, who was 15 years older to her. Only ten years had passed since her marriage but she looked like a woman of 40, who had to bear the responsibility of feeding 5 hungry mouths, without any one of them assisting her in any aspect, whether emotionally or financially.

During the days of her working at our house, I was preparing for my MBA entrance exams and seeing her plight had resolved to keep her with me as soon as I would get my job, post MBA. I used to tell her the same that “Bilkis aunty, you just wait for two more years and then you will stay with me.” Hearing that, she used to laugh and reply back, saying that “Let’s see, if I remain alive till then.” Hearing that, I just used to chide her for her pessimistic comments. Perhaps, I had no inkling of what was happening to her, the moment she went back to her place.
While working, she used to tease me with her jokes and instigated by her comments, out of sheer fun, I used to reply her back promptly. That was our way of enjoying each other’s company. I always loved that naughty look on her face and the sparkle in her eyes during our conversations. Those moments were beautiful………………..

They say that time flies by and so did the moments of our togetherness. Finally, in the month of February 2006, my wait ended and I got selected for ICFAI Hyderabad. I was excited and looking forward to my stay in the hostel and a new challenge ahead. I was to join in May. But ad mist all this excitement, I also noticed a gradual change in Bilkis aunty. Her appetite was reducing; she was beginning to get more frail and anemic. Many a times, seeing her deteriorating condition, my mother asked her to go for check up and take rest, but she continued coming, stating that, “Kanu is here only for few more days. I don’t want to miss my moments with her.” That statement left my mother speechless.
Ultimately, the day arrived, when I was leaving for Hyderabad. That day she came early and went back home only when I left for the station. Though we chatted a lot and had a gala time, I could see sadness in her eyes. When I was finally saying her goodbye she handed me Rs.10, asking me to buy something of my choice. I refused to take it , but she insisted saying that , “ Kanu yeh mera aakhiri waqt hai ….mujhe nahi lagta main tujhse agli baar mil paaoongi …tu please meri tasalli ke liye yeh paise rakh le ..main tujhe dena chahti thi .” But still I did not take it, saying that her blessings are enough for me and no matter whatever she says, I know that I am going to see her again and reminded her of my plans. She gave a weak laugh and had tears in her eyes. Though I had said those assuring words to her, but deep inside I was really sad and feared that I might not see her, the next time I come home. I was tempted to keep Rs.10 that she wanted me to as a mark of her gift, but I knew that for her, every rupee counted, so did otherwise.

And that was the last time I saw her through my car window, waving at me.
Ten days later, while I was talking to my brother, I asked about Bilkis aunty and he replied saying that she was dead. I was shocked to the core and silent for sometime. I did not know what to say, how to react. My mother sensing my condition took the call and told me about what had happened when I left.

After I had left for Hyderabad, she did not turn up for next 3-4 days, which was quite unusual. When my mother inquired, her children responded that she was in village for the treatment and after a week, the news came that she was dead. She breathed her last during the treatment.
Despite trying to be optimistic, my fears had come true. I cried the whole night and was at loss to know what to do. I had wanted to talk to her, ask her to stay with me, tell me her problems and give her a hug. It felt as if I had lost one of my family members, who was very dear to me.

Some days after this news, my brother sent me the photos taken while I was leaving for hostel. Surprisingly, the photos that had Bilkis aunty, appeared as if she was a mere shadow. Her face was not at all visible. That was terrifying and even my mother pointed out the same thing.
I still don’t know what energy drove her to come, work and meet me till the time I was there. Perhaps, the only explanation that I have is immense love and affection that she had for me.
It has been four years since her death, but the memories still remain and now that I have started working, I wish she comes back and stay with me as I had promised her.

But as they say, life is not always fair to you and despite the best of my intentions; this promise is going to remain unfulfilled. Though at the same time, I also am thankful to GOD that he gave me the opportunity to meet one of his most innocent and respectable creations that I have ever laid eyes on.